Right now it is sanity hour at our house...which means that after one too many outbursts (Joshua, not me) my toddler was put to bed, water for tea was promptly boiled, and a vanilla candle lit at the living room desk. I probably need a nap as well but the tea seemed more tempting so here I sit, resolved to get another post up before the inevitable happens - labour, of course! So, some random bits and pieces for my own remembrance and your reading enjoyment (I will assume).
On our baby toddler: Today is not his day, thus the early nap. The blocks wouldn't fit together right, there was a peanut butter smear on his arm (how disturbing), the right song wasn't playing on the computer, he slipped on a piece of paper while walking across the kitchen floor....the list could go on but each issue brought tears or objects hurled across the room in frustration or a full-fledged temper tantrum on the floor. And he's only sixteen months! We are starting to have some little challenges with this firstborn of ours but I do love his personality and wouldn't trade his determination or passion for a more docile personality even if it meant easier parenting. And the other side of him is all sweetness and joy so it balances out. We just pray for patience and wisdom as he grows! How I love this kid.
On (the upcoming) birth: I think I am more nervous this time around. Joshua's birth was much easier than I expected birth to be, and Lord willing this will be another relatively short and calm delivery, so I am not sure why the increase in anxiety. Maybe because I know what it's like this time around and the memory of the really intense and painful parts of birth are coming back to me with perfect clarity. But I am trying to focus less on that and more on the feeling of holding that newborn in my arms for the first time! And I am so so excited that we don't know the gender this time around, it will be a fun surprise! As of today we have four days to go until the expected due-date!
On drawing near to Christ: This is something that has been much on my mind in these days of nesting and preparing and looking forward...I can get so caught up in getting things done and my mind is a running commentary on a thousand things, but only one thing is really necessary, and I need to keep reminding myself of this, to sit at Jesus' feet and learn from Him, both when I am desperate and needy and when it most feels like a discipline.
I've also been remembering the brain fog that hit me so hard the first weeks (months?) after my first was born, and how difficult it was to focus and spend quality time in the Word. How would I advise myself now? To keep reading, even if it feels like nothing is sticking! To keep drawing near, to pour out honest thoughts in prayer (often), to ask for grace, because He is so faithful to supply exactly what we need.
So these days I am trying to carve out time in the mornings to pray, to read through Ephesians, to journal a bit or read a portion of this book which is applicable to every season of life but especially so right now, I'm finding - these truths of the incarnation - God becoming man in Christ Jesus and experiencing life as frail, human flesh. I could write a lot on this but I will just summarize by saying how comforting it has been to take a closer look at our loving, compassionate, sympathizing Saviour. A worship experience, really.
Other reading: I picked up a copy of Middlemarchat the library recently. I was looking for some fiction to have on hand for middle of the night feedings and other spare moments and read some reviews on this classic novel online...apparently some say it might be the best english novel ever written? We'll see how far I get, but I'm looking forward to the challenge!
A recent project: I wanted some fresh, springy pillows for our living room and kept seeing (and coveting) pillows that cost $45, at least. Definitely not fitting in our budget so I decided to make some myself using free fabric samples that my husband brought home a couple years ago when he worked at a textiles store. Yep, free! I have sewn about twice since I was twelve or so (unless you count stitching buttons back on) so I am very happy with the result! It's envelope style at the back (lots of tutorials online) and the front is just hemless pieces sewn overtop my squares and then washed to fray (Inspiration taken from my friend Kendra's quilt). Very easy...and probably the last creative project I get to tackle for a while.
My sister's baby shower: Loved having a baby shower for my sister, which several of us collaborated on. And look, my sister-in-law posted pictures so I can be lazy and simply link you there to see the lovely (and very pregnant) Chrissy. (Thanks, Kaitlin!)
And there are other things I could write about but I hear grumps coming from the baby-monitor which means it's time to get in gear again.
It really seems unbelievable that in less than a month (or so) we'll become a family of four, that I'll be mama to two. I've thought about writing a pregnancy update post so many times and just realized tonight as I sat down that I haven't actually posted anything about this pregnancy other than announcing it back in the fall before we went on our internet break.
The time has went by so fast, especially in comparison to what I remember about being pregnant with our first. These last weeks I am anxious and so very excited to have this baby in my arms but at the same time somewhat nervous about labor and feeling unprepared. (Is anyone ever really prepared?)
I have a mental list of things-to-do-before-baby and nesting has definitely set in for me as I've been purging and cleaning out cupboards and even doing little decor projects around the house. And then there are days when I want to do nothing but stay in pajamas and cuddle and tickle my little boy and play all day and soak up these fleeting last moments of him being my baby.
I can't wait for him to have a sibling and for all that lies ahead but this is me, sentimental at every approaching change, wanting what's coming but at the same time aching for time to stand still just a little bit longer.
My sister and her husband (who live a couple hours away) are expecting their first baby ten days after I'm due so it will be interesting to see who goes first, or how many days apart. I was right on my due date last time but anything could happen! She carries bigger than me but I still feel this picture is flattering to my actual size. And I have been told that I now waddle...sigh.
I love it that we are pregnant together - I don't get to see Chrissy as often as I would like but we smile remembering the days (not very long ago) when we were both single and wondering if we'd ever be married or have children. But here we are, prayers answered and both very thankful for God's provision.
Oh, and a fun fact - we don't know if we're having a boy or a girl this time around but I got another look at baby on an ultrasound today and the technician was laughing about how much hair this little one appears to have - crazy how clearly it showed up, floating out behind the head. I can't wait to see!
For years, I've been a collector of words - scribbling down in notebooks phrases and poems and quotes I came across and wanted to remember.
I read somewhere recently that it's not whole books that change us, it's sentences, and I agree - it's the small bits of truth and beauty and encouragement that stay behind and change us after we've forgotten the rest.
For some time now I've wanted to turn some of these collected words into art for our home - framed and hung on a wall or placed on a shelf, to be glanced at and pondered as we go about our day.
I've seen some beautiful prints online but, lacking the right computer software or skill, designing my own wasn't really an option.
And then I began to notice lovely script that looked hand-done here and there on the internet, and realized it was calligraphy. I didn't know people were still doing this but apparently it's made a comeback! Not the stuffy, old english style I attempted as a teenager, but bright, fun, modern lettering (do an image search for modern calligraphy to see what I mean).
I was in love, so what was there to do but get myself some beginner's supplies and get to work?
I've only gotten a bit of practice in and I think it will take much more to get even close to skilled but the creative possibilities are endless and I'm excited to improve and make some of those prints I've been itching to do!